A midnight phone call…

Tracey Emin 'I Cried Because I Love You' | Wallpaper* Magazine:


I’m sleeping soundly and dreaming my favorite dream of being at my very first fashion show and all of a sudden my phone rings.  I sit up straight and immediately think of the worst….dad’s sick, mom’s sick,  Ashley is in detox!  I answer the phone to a sobbing Sachi. “Oh Pem, I’m so sorry for calling so late”.  I reply with a gentle “Sotch?”.  Can I come over? she asks.  I look at my clock and reply “of course, where are you?”  Sachi replies “I’m downstairs”.  I fly from my bed and go to the window and see Sachi’s car.  I tell her to get out of her car that I’m watching her and I’ll buzz her in.  I see her get out and run into the building.  I wait for her with my door slightly open so I can see the elevator.  The elevator door opens and an almost unrecognizable Sachi runs into my arms.  She is crying as we walk into my place, still hugging each other.

As we sit on the sofa I look at Sachi’s red swollen eyes and she looks at me and tells me her husband is having an affair.  I take her hands and ask “are you sure?”.  Sachi replies “pretty much. I caught them in MY bed”.  As she breaks down, I grab her and pull her into my shoulder.  I rest my head on top of hers and tell her to let it alright.

It’s times like this that one really doesn’t know what to say, like being at a funeral, all we can do is show our love and let them grieve and if they want to talk, they will.

I get up and make some tea as Sachi remains on the sofa and continues to cry, eventually stopping as she looks into my eyes and says.  “You know Pem, I’ve always wanted to live your life”.  My head turns with confusion and ask her “what?”.  “I have always tried to portray a life of unabashed bliss and happiness when I think about all my marriages, I can’t think of one that I was honestly genuinely happy.  I mean, to me, a marriage was a contract first than love, when I knew in my heart that was not right.  I admired your marriage, you followed your heart and married a good man who loved you and you were happy.  You never gave 2 shits about what people thought about your husband or your home or where you lived or the type of car you drove.  Why couldn’t I just be content to be happy and forgo all those material things?”  As Sachi continues to sob, I take her hand and tell her not to be so hard on herself.  “Everyone makes mistakes.  That’s what builds our character and makes us stronger”.  Sachi sniffles and rises her head to look at me as I smile gently at her.  She sips her tea and stares into the night.

After a long night of talking, crying and eventually laughing, Sachi falls sound asleep on the gushy sofa as I cover her with a comforter and return to my bed.  I lay there thinking about my divorce and ask the question “why can’t some of us stay married, forgive horrible mistakes or go that extra mile to make things work?”  I contemplate the thought of never getting married again….not a bad idea, I bite my lip and turn on my side to get a couple of hours of sleep.

©  Pemberton Mackey  2016


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