the one and only…Ashley…

Christian-Louboutin-So-Kate-pumps:

 

I’ve been in my new home for well over a month now and finally my sister, Ashley is gracing me with her presence.  First, let me tell you, I love my sister to pieces but most of the time I don’t like her.  She is seriously the most high society SNOB I’ve ever met.  I ask myself how did she turn out like this?  When my parents are the most down-to-earth and compassionate people I know.  I believe we are all “wired” differently.  I mean, look at me, I’m basically a vessel of raw nerves, insecurities and riddled with mental “issues”.

My sister has never had to work a day in her life.  She married her high school sweetheart whose family is wealthy (in the yacht business) and I believe they worked very hard to acquire that wealth, just as my parents have.  I worked since I was legally able to.  My first job was at the Wayzata Dairy Queen ;p and now this is the first time I haven’t had a job and it feels strange to me, almost as if I’m doing something criminal.  Ashley is also into fashion, although our styles are very different we are equally fascinated with the world of fashion.  I believe all due to our “model” mother, Lex…..thanks mom 😉

It’s 3:45 and Ashley was supposed to be here at 3.  No phone calls or text, so I texted to see if she was coming or not.  Just then someone knocks at my door.  I open it to see a freshly botoxed face with no reaction breeze past me as she says “Well, it’s about time you invite me to your new home”, while dumping her Chanel purse in my arms.  I jokingly tell her “oh, how sweet I’ve always wanted a Chanel bag”  As Ashley turns and stares at me wondering what the hell I’m talking about.  I place her lovely purse on the table as Jax scurries into the room to greet our guest and stops dead in his tracks and stares at Ashley (I think he can sense the devil inside).  Ashley (not an animal lover) looks at me and says “I see you still have that little rat”.  Jax retreats to wherever he was before our guest arrived.  I grab a bottle of red wine and Ashley and I head for the patio.

Chanel Handbag:

After an hour of hearing all about her life, decorating, friends, events, parties, etc.  She finally asks about me.  I tell her that I’m taking some time for myself and then I will embark on my dream, with a huge smile on my face.  I’m expecting some interest from my sister as I begin to tell her what my plans are.  But as I expected, she shows no interest at all and turns away from me and walks to admire the view and tells me its time for her to go.  In typical Ashley style, her rudeness is off the charts!  I smile and ask her where she is going.  She turns and tells me she has to buy some new swimwear for her and her hubby’s vacation to Bali.  She complains she’s already been there twice but “he” can’t seem to get enough of that place.  I tell her it must be beautiful there and asked her to send me a postcard, as I smile at her.  She replies “a postcard?? you must be kidding”.

OK, I’ve had enough of my dear sister as I hand her back her beautiful Chanel bag and guide her towards the door.  As she leaves, she turns back to me and tells me “You know I would be happy to send my interior decorator over to help you with this place”.  I tell her I would think about that (with a fake appreciative smile).  Ashley turns and waves as she leaves while talking on her phone.

Well you’ve only had a small taste of my sister but I’ve had to live with her all my life….no wonder I’m a mental car wreck!

©  Pemberton Mackey  2016

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